About Tamalla Personal
Folks are always asking about me personally, how can I possibly understand their experiences, so I decided to go ahead a post a synopsis of my story so you can get a feel for my life experiences.
My life, as everyone’s, has been full of ups and downs. I don’t measure the success of my life, thus far, by those ups and downs. Instead I measure my success based on how I am able to move through this moment, right now. Is it in a way that is supportive for me and those around me? Is it through actions that I enjoy? Am I living what I believe? Can I do it better? Can I tell a Greater Story than the one I told yesterday? If any of these things are true, then I consider all of my experiences up to this moment a success because they brought me to this place where any of those things is true.
Without my past experiences I would not be able to so effectively help my clients because I would not have had the need to learn and grow through those situations that brought me to where I am.
My great grand parents on my dad’s side.
For those seeking the details:
As a child, I had grandparents and great grandparents, on my dad’s side, that loved me and took good care of me when I was living with them, which was often. I adored both my great grandpa, who died when I was 7 and my grandpa who died when I was 11. My great grandma was the purest person I have ever known. She taught me to crochet and play rummy. I was 23 with kids of my own when she passed at the age of 90. My grandma, her daughter, is the strongest woman I know. She is 95 years old now, and still works 5 days a week as a crossing guard at the elementary school she attended 90 years ago. She has worked hard all her life and encouraged me to do the same.
When I was very young I knew things that other people didn’t. I knew about people who lived in the houses before us. I would pray light through people who were sick. I was told in no uncertain terms by my loving Christian grandparents that my behavior was not allowed, it was witchcraft. Eventually I shut out my gifts because of my deep seated fear of being burned alive, that is what happened to witches I was told, and then burning in hell for all eternity. I pushed them down and forgot about them, repressed them, for about 30 years.
Both of my parents married 5 times each with my mom’s last marriage ending with her being widowed and my dad’s last in divorce. I had 4 step dads and 3 step moms. I learned to cook very early, by the time I was 8, and spent most of my time cooking and cleaning and watching my step brothers and sisters that lived with me. There were 10 of them all totaled, some I lived with and others I saw occasionally. They were good kids but I really needed a parent, not to be a parent. During the times my mom was single we were on welfare because she was disabled. I remember walking to the grocery store with food stamps when I was about 8 and buying potatoes and few other things and lugging that 5 pound bag home in the heat. It was as big as I was! Fried potatoes were the first thing I learned to cook and that is what I ate a lot because it was the only thing I knew how to cook.
As a child I, like many, experienced neglect and sexual abuse. My sexual abuse experiences included 3 different family members (none of those mentioned above) each at different times between the ages of 5 and 13. The last one culminated in a terrible incident that ended in my falling in to a deep depression and being functionally mute for about 6 months. I was very lucky that it wasn’t worse.
I ran away from home at the age of 13 and was told by a judge that I would have to spend the next 4 years in a youth detention center if I didn’t ‘straighten up’. I spent 6 months on probation with other ‘troubled girls”. I was very lucky. Some of those girls had it way harder than me and they had been in and out of juvenile detention more times that they could count. I realized that I didn’t want their experience to be my experience so I stopped expecting or wanting other people to help me and I promised I would help myself. I was very lucky that my spirit had not been completely broken. Instead I called on my Inner Warrior who would take charge of my life for the next 20 or so years.
I had started smoking at the age of 11, it was acceptable at that time. Most of my family smoked. My dad smoked for over 40 years. I even had a smoking permit in school. I was grateful that I was already addicted to cigarettes by the time a close family member became an active drug dealer because I think I would have become addicted to something much worse. I was over the whole drug scene by the time I was 15. I smoked cigarettes off and on for 25 years, finally quitting in 2007. THAT was difficult and it brought up a bunch of baggage that I didn’t even know I was carrying around. I felt I was very lucky to finally be able to defeat that particular demon I kept lugging around with me.
I had some great experiences in schools, I was smart and in 5th grade my teacher recommended that I be tested for special classes. I did well and was accepted in to a prestigious program at the Berry College Campus called Berry Academy. I attended there in 6th grade, I was 11. I enjoyed the location, the classes, the teachers but being a poor kid with my mom on welfare it was hard being with all the rich kids who owned horses in the Berry stables and who were way out of my league as far as travel and world experiences. I was bullied a lot and decided to go back to public school for 7th grade so I would feel more accepted. I regret that decision. I think I missed a number of educational opportunities there.
I began working at 13 and had a worker’s permit. I got out of school half days to go to work. That came in very handy as you will see when I was 16.
By that time I was 15, my mom and I had moved more than 18 times, there may have been more but when I visited my home town recently and counted all the places that I had lived that was all that I could remember. I was very lucky. As a child I was never homeless and there was always change. Now when I look back at it I feel like my mom must have been a gypsy, looking for her tribe. She never found it before she died at the young age of 45. She was disabled and a hypochondriac and took more than 50 pills a day, which in turn created more problems. She had a great heart but was lost. I wish I had known during her lifetime what I know now.
Me with my mom the day I graduated from High School. I got married the next day.
At 16 I was emancipated in the traditional southern way, I married about 10 days after my 16th birthday. I had intended it to be forever but in 4 months my husband never worked 1 day, took drugs and drank all day and night and began to beat on me. It took another 6 months to get divorced and I was officially emancipated as an adult. I thought it was cool to write and sign my own absentee notes in high school. I thought it was ironic. I was grateful I had a job!
I graduated high school and had been at the local technical school taking college classes all during my senior year. I had planned to build and program computers which were still in their toddler stages in 1986/87. But… Instead my boyfriend who had just turned 18 and was living with me by then, joined the Air Force and we got married the day after I graduated high school. I was 18 by then. We moved to California where our 2 awesome children were born, then to Germany, and then Florida. Being on active duty he was away as much, if not more, of the time than he was home. I felt as if I was essentially a single parent. I enjoyed the military experience. I worked for the Department of Defense and was successful. He and I divorced in 1998 after 11 years of marriage. We had different expectations of a marriage. I believed it should be monogamous… It was not an easy or nice divorce. It took about a year and a half or more. I don’t recommend it. Our kids are grown now and we get along just fine.
I ended up falling head over heels in love with a long time friend. I was completely blind-sided by it. It was the best drug in the world to be in love. I hadn’t been that high since I was 15. We would sit and look at each other for hours without ever saying a word and yet have complete conversations. I heard angels singing. This was L O V E! And he loved my kids. They loved him too. We married in 1999 and in 2000 moved to middle Georgia. I was born and raised in North Georgia and he was born and raised in South Georgia. We had great fun as a family for a few years.
It wasn’t until after we were married that I discovered how terrible his relationship with his family was, except with his granny. She was his lifeline.
We dressed up to go to the circus.
After she passed away he fell into a deep depression that never actually resolved. His casual drinking turned in to full blown abusive alcoholism with lots of anger, fear and lashing out involved. He was in and out of detox more times than I can count. It was shocking how little help was available for him or me and my kids. It was then that I found out that no shelter in the state of Georgia would take a male child over the age of 13. It was staggering!
Going from being so in love to every moment being fearful for my life and concern for my children was such a major swing that it took me years and years to recover after we were safely away. Finally I had to go off the grid for help as none was truly available, the police had even let us down. It took me 2 years and a lot of help from a psychic and spiritual adviser to get my children and myself safely away. We finally were able to peacefully divorce in 2007. It was shocking to me that it had been possible. It had taken a great deal of work on the spiritual side of things in order for it to end without either of us dead. I am not exaggerating. He had a great deal of violence in him.I promised that should I be able, (my psychic gifts had begun coming to the surface again after so long) I would do the work that was done for me. I would access information not normally available and work with the energies that could change and save people’s lives. That is what I do today through the Akashic Records and Coaching. He continued to spiral in to the darkness and it ended up killing him in 2013. He was 49. It was tragic and very sad. The neighbors finally called the police when his mail had piled up. He had been gone for at least a week when he was found. Had I known when we were first together what I know now…
In 2001, after moving to Georgia and while still happily in love, I obtained my real estate license and began listing and selling property. I became a million dollar producer and enjoyed my work very much. Eventually I obtained designations and got my Brokers license and Real Estate Instructor license. I was tired of working with real estate professionals that didn’t know what they were doing so I opened a real estate school. It wasn’t easy with raising 2 children, keeping them from an alcoholic husband and being the main source of income for the family, especially after my divorce.
By 2008 the real estate market had truly crashed and the real estate school that I owned and operated went completely belly up. No one wanted to get in to real estate, imagine that! I was over $40,000 in debt for the school and had no income coming in. I was finally divorced and free from the abuse, had one child safely in college and the second safely nearing high school graduation and no one was hiring. I sold flowers at bars late at night, I cleaned houses, I did anything to make money that was legal and did not involve sex. I just needed to get to the point where my daughter was in college, that was all I was striving for. One month I only made $8.00. Yep, $8 bucks, that was it. Then next month I only made $6.00. And by that time my savings was gone.
My car was repossessed. I had to go back to my abusive ex-husband and ask him to help me get a car to drive my daughter back and forth to school and to try to make some money. He did. He even paid the payments until I got back on my feet. I was grateful. I got behind on the rent and my landlord was so gracious she allowed me to stay in the house for another 6 weeks until I could get my daughter in college. My daughter had a part time job and because of that we were able to buy some groceries for a few months. My daughter received a full academic scholarship to the college she wanted to attend! I thought we were so very lucky.
Once my daughter was safely at college I moved from middle Georgia to Atlanta with $46 in my pocket. I figured if I was going to be homeless I may as well be homeless in a city where I had a chance to get a job. I had seen on TV that they fed the homeless here so I, at least, knew I could find food. I was excited about the change, shaking the dust off my feet and moving on, about the opportunities that were available. I literally had no idea where I was going to sleep.
Two nights before I headed north a loving friend contacted me to just touch base. He lives and works in Atlanta. I told him that I was heading up on Tuesday and might stop by to say “HI”. He was flabbergasted when I told him that I had no job and no money and no idea where I was going to land. He offered me a trade. I could sleep at a dorm his company had if I would clean it. It wasn’t occupied. I jumped at the chance! When I got there I was so grateful.
It was August in Georgia and there was no air conditioning, and later there would be no heat, there was no hot water for showers and you couldn’t drink the water but I was so grateful to have a safe place to sleep. I wasn’t on the streets. I was safe, I was in the city I wanted to live in and I was grateful!
It wasn’t until I mentioned that there were spirits showing up in my room to wake me up some nights that I was told that the place was on some famous registry of haunted places… I was still grateful to have a roof over my head and to be safe.
Then within a week a friend asked me if I would be willing to do some cooking and cleaning for his parents who lived in the metro area. I immediately agreed and loved every moment of it. I don’t know how much of my situation they knew but they always insisted that I eat meals with them and they always paid me more than the agreed rate. I was so very very lucky. I missed them terribly when I got a full time job at a company that same friend worked at.
Within 3 months of moving to Atlanta I had a full time job in a new for me branch of real estate, Community Association Management, and a few weeks later I had a one bedroom condo apartment to live in. By the time my kids came home from college for a visit at Christmas I had a place for them to come to. I was so incredibly lucky! They never knew about how hard it was for me nor should they have. As hard as it was I learned how to be happy right where I was. Even in the haunted building with no hot water and no air conditioning or heat. I was grateful. I was also very grateful that I was able to pay my prior landlord all the back rent and fees within about 8 months of leaving her house. She was surprised.
The thread that appears to be so clear to me now is that the way I was able to move through years of physical and sexual abuse, hurt, feelings of victimization, fear, financial desperation and more was my ability to eventually find something to be thankful for. It wasn’t easy and it usually took place after some lengthy wallowing. But finding something to be thankful for allowed me to disconnect from the negative feelings and shift my focus to something good. When I was able to do so I found my situations changing for the better with lightening speed. When I was wallowing in my own misery nothing changed. In having to come up with something positive to say to my children it gave me the opportunity to see the things in my experience that were good. I am so grateful for my experiences as they made me who I am today. Not that I would want to do them again!
As far as today, I have a loving, supportive long term relationship with a loving, gentle, generous man who appreciates not only me but my psychic gifts. (That was new for me.) We support each others goals and ambitions and genuinely enjoy one another.
I am a Nana of 3 magnificent grand babies..
I own my own companies and spend my days teaching and coaching individuals and groups toward their own goals and help them create the results they want. It is the most rewarding work I have ever done. Some of the work is strict coaching and other work entails Akashic Records readings, Soul Coaching and other psychic work. I am finally living my soul purpose by speaking my Divine Truth through my own Divine Self Expression and I teach others to do the same. I expand my knowledge and training all the time.
Physically we all know that our bodies function based on the energies that run through it. If vital force energy is stuck or missing then the body doesn’t function optimally. Dis-ease can result if energetic issues are not resolved. For me, through my years of shutting down my own self expression (psychic gifts) and complete loss of power to the abuses I experienced, my body has had some issues though nothing terrible. I am grateful!Specifically, the thyroid is located in the throat, the exact chakra of self expression. It is no wonder that after 10 years of looking for what was not working finally it was discovered that I experience Hypo-thyroidism. That means my thyroid doesn’t work. I had all the symptoms for years and years and putting my needs behind those of others, as most women do, did not help the diagnosis. When I did start looking the doctors couldn’t explain the uncontrollable 70 pound weight gain and myriad of other symptoms. Until finally they did. Apparently it is difficult to get the meds right and we are always working on it. I am grateful that I can take natural supplements that provide what I need.I know that now that I am actively speaking my Truth and honoring my own Self Expression that the issue will resolve itself in time. Because our bodies function in the 3rd dimension, which has limitations of space and time, it takes time to resolve issues that were created over time. The physical world is a very dense dimension and everything moves here much more slowly than the the 4th (thoughts and emotions) and 5th (spirit) and so on. It takes time to un-choose all those years of choosing to repress in order to undo the stuckedness that my body experienced for 30 years or so. I am confident that it will resolve well. I will keep you updated!In the meantime I enjoy each day of my life as I can knowing that my joy, appreciation and gratefulness is what propels me forward on my own great journey. I don’t have body issues, what good would that do? Fat or thin I am me, amazing and marvelous me. And even after all the years of experiences I can safely say, “I love me!” right now, as I am.
Sending great love to you!
Tamalla